Judging

About two weeks ago, I joined eHarmony. Technically, I've done the online dating thing before. Once in 2011, I joined eHarmony for a reduced rate for three months, did one month and then asked for a refund. They don't give refunds by the way. Once in 2012, I did the free version of Sovereign Grace Singles for about a week. So, this is the third rodeo. I basically do work and church, so I thought eHarmony would be a good way to meet people in the Graveyard for Singles that is Tuscaloosa, Alabama.

Well, I judge people. I judge people a lot, especially the prospects on the eHarmony. I judge you on your physical appearance, if you have facial hair or if you are bald. I judge you on the quality and consistency of your pictures. I judge you if you have an alcoholic beverage in every single one of your pictures. I judge you if you have any Auburn paraphernalia on at all in any picture. I judge you if you say sarcasm is something you can't live without. I judge you if The Shack was the last book you read. I judge you if you don't read. I judge you if you've read any Tolkien, CS Lewis or Tim Keller. I judge you if sexual compatibility is important to you in a DATING RELATIONSHIP. I judge you if you have a kid, if you "might" want kids, if you like Tosh.O, if your friends are more attractive in your picture than you are, if you're looking for a woman to "help improve your walk with God", if you're 40 or older and on eHarmony. I judge you if you only have one sentence about Jesus in your profile because I want to date someone who is crazy passionate about Jesus. I am skeptical that anyone is presenting who they are really are in a social media profile, especially on the eHarmony.

My judging is not exclusive to the eHarmony. I judge the people I work with, the people I go to church with, and the people who love me and I love them. I care more about what some people think than others. I put others down to make myself feel better. I either compare myself with someone else who I know I can beat according to my own standards or I compare myself with someone who has what I would define as everything I don't. We've been going through 2nd Corinthians during Sunday School at Trinity and these verses hit home with me and a friend recently.

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete. Look at what is before your eyes. If anyone is confident that he is Christ's, let him remind himself that just as he is Christ's, so also are we. For even if I boast a little too much of our authority, which the Lord gave for building you up not destroying you, I will not be ashamed...Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding. But we will not boast beyond limits, but will boast only with regard to the area of influence God assigned to us, to reach even you. For we are not overextending ourselves, as though we did not reach you. For we were the first to come all the way to you with the gospel of Christ. We do not boast beyond limit in the labors of others. But our hope is that as your faith increases, our area of influence among you may be greatly enlarged, so that we may preach the gospel in lands beyond you, without boasting of work already done in another's area of influence. "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord." For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.
2nd Corinthians 10:5-8,12-17

According to this passage, I should not compare myself to others in order to make myself feel better. Paul tells the Corinthians that to measure and compare yourself is unwise. Paul encourages the Corinthians to take every thought captive, to only boast in the Lord, and to use the areas of influence God has given them to spread His kingdom. It's "Seek first the Kingdom" all over again. What really matters is what God thinks and what God wants. Plus, Paul quotes this verse from Jeremiah in the Corinthians text.

Thus says the LORD: "Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justive, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD."
Jeremiah 9:23-24

My personal version reads like this - "Let not Melinda boast in her witty jokes and sarcasm, let not Melinda boast in her intellect, her looks, her job, or her theology, but let Melinda boast that she knows God, who is so much grander, prettier, better, and holier than anyone else who has ever lived yet loves us as we are and hides us in Christ so that his perfect righteousness covers us. And God the Father only sees perfect Jesus in our stead. In those things Jesus delights."

***Note, this is altered and therefore not the legitimate word of God.***

But the conundrum is, what is the line between being discerning and being picky? ? Maybe the line is just saying no politely versus tearing someone down. The line is me not being sarcastic and actually listening to other people. The line is me modeling Jesus to others by relying on Him to do so. Like the song Grace Upon Grace says, "All that You ask, Your grace will provide." Paul said his ministry was to encourage and build up the Corinthians, so maybe my ministry is to encourage others through the awkwardness that is dating and the beautiful mess that is life. Please pray that I do!